I’ve joined this writing challenge …

March 16, 2009 at 11:43 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments
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Disclaimer: This post is not about my sims or my hood. I just wanted to spread the word. I’ve joined this writing challenge at the Sims 2 Community. If you like to write and want to join us, click here. I had a lot of fun doing it.

Guidelines – by Gemmareno

– Your piece must be written in the first person narrative, i.e. me, we etc.
– You have 15 minutes to write this. Either time yourself with an alarm or phone, or use the useful link by FurryPanda
– You must have a minumum of 500 words, although you shouldn’t go over 2000.
– Copy and paste straight onto this thread. Do not edit or rewrite your piece. Spelling, grammar and punctuation can be revised but without a dictionary and such.”

I used “Write or Die” from Dr. Wicked to write my contribution. It’s really cool –

“Write or Die is a web application that encourages writing by punishing the tendency to avoid writing. Start typing in the box. As long as you keep typing, you’re fine, but once you stop typing, you have a grace period of a certain number of seconds and then there are consequences.”

So, anyway, I did it – ha ha – and I’d like to share my contribution here, too. Don’t hold your punches – any feedback / criticism is welcome!


(Word Count – 553. I never realized that 15 minutes was so short. I had to cut the story short in the end when I saw I was running out of time.)

553
15  
lab.drwicked.com

I hate it here in this junk yard – the rats gnaw at my insides day and night – all I see around me are dirty, broken, unwanted things … a beat-up old car with blocks for wheels, old dolls missing their heads, a broken-down dishwasher. I don’t belong here.

I was a beautiful bed once – with a shiny brass headboard and a good springy cushion. My master and mistress picked me out of all the other beds at the local furniture shop.

“Oh, there” she had cried out, “This is the one we need. It’s just the perfect price for us. Please?”

She’d looked up at my master with her winsome smile that he could not resist, and I was delivered to their new home the following day.

They were newly weds, you see. I was a good bed; they never heard a word of complaint from me. Those early days of their marriage, I had a good work-out every night. Hands clenched on my headboard, bodies pounding down on me, but I could handle it. My springs kept their spring and I enjoyed listening to my master and mistress make love to each other every night.

Then my master got signed into a high profile baseball team. They were very excited when that happened, I can tell you! I felt their celebration too, the morning after. But my mistress stripped off the soiled sheets and I was good as new. Soft and cushiony and smelling of her favorite fabric softener.

Then came the long lonely nights for my mistress. Endless nights waiting for my master to call. Nights of tears. Nights watching the Hallmark Channel.

Then my mistress started to get frequent visitors again. I had never realized that she had so many male friends! And I was happy. Once again, I heard laughter in my mistress’ voice.

But I was not so happy when my mistress started to use me. With other men.

No! – I wanted to cry out! – My master owns me – I don’t want these strange men on me!

But I was only a bed, what could I do?

So now strange hands clenched the headboard. Strange voices permeated the night. Grunts. The rustle of silk sheets. Squeaky sounds of the springs.

“What the h*** is this!!!!”

It was my master’s voice. I had never heard him sound so enraged. So angry.

“Oh, please. I’m so sorry…” My mistress had cried and pleaded. “Please…”

I felt the blows. I felt the hard steel flash down. Again and again. Through my mistress’ body. And through me. Pieces of stuffing flew in the air. I felt hot sticky liquid flow down, soak down through the mattress.

Oh no – it will be murder to dry clean that – I thought.

Then the air was rent with the sound of sirens. And important men in blue uniform came to take my master away. Men in white came to take my mistress and her friend away. Men in white coats came to dab the sticky fluid from me. I was paraded around together with the knife. I was evidence you see. Then I was kept in a locker for the longest time. No one bothered to clean me up. No one bothered to change the sheets.

And now, I am here, all alone, in the city dump. I miss my mistress and master.


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7 Comments »

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  1. Clever! That is an awesome short story. I can’t find anything to criticize.

    “Oh no – it will be murder to dry clean that – I thought.” That line actually made me laugh. For some reason I heard it in my head as Alan Rickman doing Marvin from Hitchhikers Guide.

    How much of this did you have plotted out before you began writing? Did you just start with an idea and go?

    • Ha ha – thanks – The challenge involved writing with the narrator as an inanimate object – and my first thought was – what if I write about a murder witnessed by a bed? And so I did without really plotting things out. My critique when I read it over (as objectively as possible) was that too much time was spent on the back story that the climax fizzled out completely. Like 3/4 was all backstory and the exciting part was a teensy-weensy couple of lines? The whole thing got too rushed – I really should’ve thought things over before I started writing with the 15 minutes timer.

      Maybe I don’t need critics, I can be my own worst critic! ha ha

  2. Very clever – I can’t believe you wrote it in 15 minutes.

    The beginning of it kind of reminded me of the song Live Bed Show by Pulp. It’s not from the perspective of a bed, like your story but there’s a line that goes “it didn’t get much rest at first/headboard banging in the night”.

    • Hey, thanks – that’s a compliment! I did correct the misspellings and punctuation and carriage returns (Write or die makes everything you write into this huge paragraph after you hit the done button) after the 15 minutes was up.

  3. Wow! This is well done. I’m impressed that you wrote this in only 15 minutes. It was neat seeing the relationship from the bed’s perspective, and I actually felt bad that the bed ended up at the dump. Congrats on making me feel sympathy for an inanimate object!

    • Ooh, thanks! cool that you felt bad for the bed – ha ha
      I showed it to my sister and the first thing she said after reading was ” ‘My springs kept their spring’ ???? what kind of description is that?” And apparently, I used cushiony, cushion and springs way too many times in the story. Ouch. Ha ha.

  4. I like it! I hope my old bed frame isn’t upset because it’s been stored in my parent’s garage for years. (I don’t have enough money to buy a new mattress set to fit it.)


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