Writing Challenge #3

April 3, 2009 at 4:52 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments
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And on to the third challenge! Thanks for the feedback everyone – if you guys don’t mind – I’m posting my third challenge entry.

Write for 20 minutes about three characters. The characters can be present or not but all should be mentioned by name. Your starting sentence is: “She touched the little box in her pocket and smiled.” You must also include the word hypocrite somewhere in the piece.

– Your piece can either be in the first person or third person, but you must start with the aforementioned sentence regardless.
– You have 20 minutes to write this. Either time yourself with an alarm or phone, or use the useful link by FurryPanda on page 1.
– You must have a minumum of 500 words, although you shouldn’t go over 2000.
– Copy and paste straight onto this thread. Do not edit or rewrite your piece. Spelling, grammar and punctuation can be revised but without a dictionary and such.


Sally’s Proposal

She touched the little box in her pocket and smiled. Well, technically, it wasn’t her pocket. She’d worn her cute little strapless black dress for her date tonight and had not expected it to get so cold. Ricky, after several hints from her, had finally caught on and offered her his jacket. Feeling the little box on the front right breastpocket was an unexpected bonus.

Sally surreptitiously fished her cell phone out while Ricky was off to the gents. Quickly, she dialed her best friend Gail’s number.

“Girl!” she squealed, “I think he’s proposing tonight!”

“About time,” Gail muttered.


“Nothing – I said congratulations. I’m really happy for you. Not!” Gail snickered.

“Oh, you big hypocrite! I heard you the first time. It doesn’t matter now that he’s made me wait ten years. I’m finally getting married!” Sally couldn’t help crowing in triumph.

Sally had already been a bridesmaid for a grand total of fifteen times – count that – fifteen times. She’d gritted her teeth and smiled through the ribbing she got. But Sally was getting tired of all the questions during the family get-togethers – “So, when is Ricky going to make an honest woman out of you?” She had almost had enough of the pitying glances from her married girlfriends. Now, she could join the ranks of the blushing brides in her clique. Finally.

“Oh, shoot – he’s on his way back, gotta go.”

“Details, girl, details -” Gail managed to get out before Sally cut her off.

“Hey, what’s up?” Ricky asked, sliding into the seat beside her. He gave her a lopsided smile that never failed to make Sally’s breath catch. As her mother had observed the first time she’d met Ricky – “What a handsome devil you’ve managed to catch, Sally.” Ricky was the quintessential tall, dark and handsome man she’d dreamed about ever since she’d read her first Mills and Boom romance novel. So what if he’d fended off any marriage talk all these years – he was just making sure that everything was perfect before he proposed. Sally was sure of that.

To reassure herself, Sally touched the box again and smiled. “Nothing darling, just admiring the view.”

The dinner seemed to fly by – Sally honestly couldn’t have told you what the conversation was or what she ate. She was floating on a sea of giddy happiness – in her mind, she was already walking down the aisle in a frothy concoction she’d always dreamed of since she was thirteen. She’d even picked out her wedding song – she’d heard it in the Broadway play “Mamma Mia” and thought “I do, I do, I do” was simply perfect.

Then Ricky was signaling the waiter for the cheque. What? What? Sally shook her head in bewilderment – What about the proposal? Oh, what the heck – Sally had had enough of waiting. She was going to seize the bull by the horns.

“Darling,” she purred. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

When Ricky looked at her blankly, Sally added, “I’m sorry, darling. Not that I was snooping or anything, but I couldn’t help but notice this little box inside your jacket pocket …”

“Oh, thank God you found it, Sally! I thought I’d lost the dammed thing. It’s an engagement ring that Jack had me pick up for him. He’s proposing to Jessie, fancy that! Never dreamed he’d give up his freedom just like that, now me …”

Ricky never had the chance to continue. Instead, he found his drink and his jacket dumped on his head and was reeling from a solid whack to his head from Sally’s purse as she made her exit.

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  1. I had a feeling that the ring wasn’t intended for Sally. I’d say her reaction at the end was perfect!

    • Ha ha – I’m just glad that Sally developed a backbone 🙂

  2. I love these little challenges you keep posting. In this one, I love the image of her in her “frothy gown.” I can just see her sitting there dreamily hardly listening.

    And the dialog in this piece is very natural. Sally is SO someone who would purr and say “darling.” It makes her reaction at the end all the more fitting. XD

    • Thank you! I was hoping I wasn’t boring people with posting these challenges.
      Ricky SO deserved it too!

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